- A handshake can be the seal on a verbal contact. - PhotoDraw Content Stock Photo
According to Charles Panati, author of Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things, the oldest recorded use of the handshake occurred in Egypt and is reflected in the Egyptian verb "to give." The hieroglyph depicting this action word was an extended hand. During that time, the handshake signified the conferring of power from a god to an earthly ruler. The Babylonians and Assyrians had a similar ritual. Michelangelo depicted this aspect of the handshake on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Down through the years to the days of swords and daggers, the handshake came to symbolize a hand empty of a weapon.
A Brief History of the Handshake
"The handshake goes back to the days when people carried swords," said Oliver Crom, president of Dale Carnegie Association. "They extended their hand to show they didn't have a knife or sword in it."
In times past, handshaking was done only between men, to the exclusion of women, for such reasons as the sealing of verbal contracts, a gesture to show acceptance and the bonding as friends. According to Panati, women throughout history were never the bearers of weapons and therefore never developed the custom of handshaking. This is one explanation to why handshaking is more important to men than women. Also, women, not men, usually wore rings and to firmly grip a hand with a ring on it would cause pain. Therefore, men never offered to shake the hand of a woman and if she offered her hand it was kissed.
"One does not always shake hands with a lady," said Crom. "You have to wait to see if the woman extends her hand first. At least that's the way I was taught. But we (Dale Carnegie Association) don't teach that. We don't teach the handshake or anything like that."
According to the Emily Post Institute, as recent as the 1980s, it was proper etiquette for the woman to be the first to offer a hand when shaking hands with a man. Today, that is no longer the case, it is now proper for a man to offer to shake a woman's hand, except in Islamic countries.
Until recently, handshaking was still something done mostly by men. Rarely did women shake hands, even with other women. When women did shake hands it was mostly in a business-like environment or when men were present. But, since women are becoming more and more involved in "male practices", handshaking between women is more common.
"All the women I have met were equally receptive to handshaking as men," said Terrilyn Chung, vice president of communications for the Portland, Ore. Chapter of Women in Communications. "I would think in a more social setting women would not shake hands as much. In a business setting it is expected and I shake hands with women as much as men."
Handshake Psychology
In the past, aside from the etiquette of handshaking there was also a psychological aspect to the handshake. Most people believed something of the person's frame of mind was communicated through a handshake. There was something of a character analysis that went a long with the firmness or weakness of a handshake. But in today’s global community there are two schools of thought on the handshake.
"I don't place too much on the handshake because there are different cultures," said Crom, president of Dale Carnegie Association. "I try not to judge people just on the basis of a handshake. I came out of Wyoming and Nebraska where a good firm handshake was considered a judgmental thing, but since I travel in 70 different countries I've learned to modify my judgments on that."
Many professionals today believe the firmness or weakness of a handshake can depend on many things other than a person's character. Both men and women from all walks of life give weak handshakes for reasons such as a lack of interest in the people with whom they are shaking hands, a belief that the handshake is too distant and formal or simply because the person doesn't know how to shake hands.
"I don't attribute anything to a person's character based on the type of handshake they give me," said Chung of Women in Communications. "I don't think you can get that much from someone that quickly, it's too brief. I wouldn't want to base my assessment of a person just on their handshake."
Today, the number of people who attribute a character analysis to the firmness or weakness of a handshake has lessened, but some believers still abound. Believers still profess that the person's frame of mind is communicated through a handshake, that most people aren't aware of the importance of this initial body contact, and that most people lack the understanding of why handshaking is more important to men than women.
"Almost all people like a firm, warm, dry handshake," said Robert G. Cato, chairman of the Portland Division of the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE). "We can't always control the dryness or the warmth, but I am always a little leery of the person with the 'power grip' handshake where they're really trying to grind you down."
Most people believe a firm handshake is a sign of acceptance, interest and a strong character where as a weak handshake is a sign of the opposite. Therefore, the firm handshake is preferred and a feeling of disappointment ensues when the handshake is weak.
"(The opposite extreme of the "power grip') is where you get a noodle hanging there," Cato said. "That to me also, rightly or wrongly, tells me either this person isn't very interested or not a very strong personality."
Variations of Handshakes
There are a lot of different variations to the traditional handshake such as the high five, the hooking of the pinky fingers, the bunting of fists, or the grabbing of the forearms. Regardless of the variation of the handshake, the psychological effect of a strong, firm physical contact accompanied with eye contact is deep and permanent.
"To me it is an insult to get a 'receiving-line-hand-off' handshake or a "looking-over-the-shoulder' handshake," Cato said. "I think when you're shaking someone's hand there should be, not only physical contact but, eye contact as well."
Source:
Panati, C. (1987). Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things. HarperCollins Publishers: New York, NY.
The Emily Post Institute (2009, June). A great handshake – At home or abroad. Etiquette Everyday ~ Everyday Tips. Accessed August19, 2009 at http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/rude_situations.htm#two
